God’s word to us in Ephesians 4:29 by Ed Young
But here is the problem with it. Over time, seeds of rebellion are sown and the people that work for you begin to feel like mindless robots. They no longer use their creativity or initiative to do their work. They stop thinking for themselves and instead, become mindless robots. They become afraid of taking any risks or making any mistakes, so they do just enough to stay under the radar. Once this happens, their self-confidence has been destroyed.
I played for a high school basketball coach in Houston who had the big gun, intimidation mentality. During practice, he was a great coach, very controlled and calm. But when game time came around, he transformed into “terror coach!” If we made one mistake, missed one shot, or botched one pass, he would yank us out of the game without hesitation. Then, after he calmed down a little, he would look down the bench and say, “Are you ready to get in there and play the right way?”
Playing under those conditions was no fun – the whole team was intimidated rather than motivated. Our self-esteem on the court was nil. After the first few games, our team was even nervous during warm-ups! We were wide eyed and trembling all the time. Too many children today are walking around the same way. Companies exist where all the employees have that “deer in the headlights” look. Basically, their self-esteem is so low that they were afraid to make any moves on their own.
We cannot treat people that way if we have any hope of instilling a healthy self-esteem in their lives. There are times when criticism is necessary; there are times when discipline must be applied. But it must be done carefully. Consider God’s word to us in Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
When we confront and criticize, we are also constructing and building. We are building self-esteem in others. First Corinthians 13:4 says, “Love looks for a way of being constructive” (Phillips). Do you look for that way to be constructive? Do you give criticism carefully?
Ed Young Jr. tells us the bottom line, though, is that from a spiritual perspective we are all in debt. We all have a debt that we cannot pay.
