James says, “Above all…do not swear—not by heaven or by earth…”  Some people might say, “Well, I won’t swear by heaven.  I’ll swear by earth.”  Well, God made both heaven and earth so to swear by either one is equally bad.  James continues, “Or by anything else.  Let your ‘Yes’ be yes and your ‘No,’ no, or you will be condemned.”

If you are hanging out with someone and they swear all the time by saying, “I swear to God” or “I swear,” don’t trust them.  Beware when people swear.

Or, don’t ever ask God to damn something.  When you ask God to damn something, you are asking God to do something he does not do.  God does not damn anyone or anything to hell.  We have that option.  We choose that course.

The other day this guy that I was talking to was asking God to damn everything in his conversation.  I was thinking this guy does not get it.  He does not understand it.  Here, the creature is telling the Creator what to do.  Don’t swear.

In verse 9, I skipped a line that I want to come back to, and I skipped it purposely.  Don’t miss this one.  Talking about grumbling and swearing during P&S, here is what James says, “Don’t grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!”  That’s Jesus.  He is standing at the door listening.  He is listening to what I say and what you say during P&S.

“Well, is that saying, Ed, that I should fake it?  Is that saying that I should have this Alex-Trebek-fake-game-show-host type smile during pain and suffering, like it’s not bothering me, like everything is fine and dandy?”

No.  The Bible says we should pour our hearts out to God, even express anger to God.  Say, “God, what’s up?  I don’t understand it.”

Ed Young Fellowship: Jesus said this in Matthew 10:16.  He said, “Be as wise as serpents”.  You talking about something that is a wise creature, it is a snake.

Church might be the last place congregants would expect to talk about this subject, but a brash new crop of preachers are starting to aggressively tackle the taboos of intimacy from the pulpit, or in some cases, from the roof of their church.

Evangelical Pastor Ed Young and his wife Lisa of Grapevine, Texas, said Christians have been unenthusiastic and unimaginative about this for far too long. To demonstrate their point, the couple had an elaborate “bed-in” event, in which they had a crane lift a bed onto the top of their Grapevine congregation’s church and settled in for the next 24 hours to talk about their favorite topic.

“I think in the Christian world, there are so many people who are uneasy about this,” Ed Young said. “Most married couples want to have this, but they’re not having enough.”

“For far too long, the church has been completely silent about something God has not been silent about at all,” said Lisa Young.

In their radical new book, “The Sexperiment,” the Youngs challenge heterosexual Christian married couples — LGBT and unwed singles need not apply.

“The first place to have that talk is in the home,” added his wife. “The second place to have that talk is in the church.”

Their “bed-in” was modeled after an event first put on in 1969 by gleeful blasphemers John Lennon and Yoko Ono. The Youngs said they are trying to take the topic back from a popular culture that has perverted it.

“The sad thing is that our culture is throwing all these cues, all words, all these pictures of what this represents to our children, to couples to spouses, to husbands and wives, and it’s not working out well for marriages,” Lisa Young said.

The Youngs point out that the topic is discussed throughout the Bible. For example, in the rather risqué Song of Solomon 4:3, two lovers rhapsodize about each other’s lips and mouth: “Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy talk is comely: thy temples are within thy locks as a piece of a pomegranate.”

And there’s even a passage in Song of Solomon 4:16 that includes coming into the garden and eating the pleasant fruit, which has been interpreted by some Biblical scholars as a reference to oral : “Arise, O north, and come O south, and blow on my garden that the spices thereof may flow out: let my well beloved come to his garden, and eat his pleasant fruit.”

While the Youngs insist their “Sexperiment” is about improving marriages, not a how-to guide, another book written by a different pastor and his wife from Seattle comes very close to just that.

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And joy is relational.  No matter what life brings my way, no matter what the circumstances, if I have this inner delight derived from an intimate relationship with Christ, joy will flood my soul.  It’s the peace that surpasses all understanding.  It’s this delight, this confidence on steroids.

The half-brother of Jesus talked about joy.  James 1:2-3, “Consider it pure joy,”—it’s the PJ’s verse, isn’t it?—“my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.”  It’s not “if” we face the storms; it’s “when.”  “Whenever you face trials of many kinds.  Why?  Why can we call it pure joy?  Why should we have our PJ’s on?  He tells us, “Because you know…”  Let me stop there: “You know.”  He’s talking to Christ-followers here: “You know.”  If you’re a Christ-follower, you know who you are.  You know what you have.  You know your identity.

So many people these days just don’t know who they are.  It’s almost like they’re trying to say, “Would someone please tell me who I am?  Who am I?”  Who am I?  We’re sinners, moral foul ups, saved by the grace of God.  That’s who we are, and, once we realize that, we know.  “Because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”  A faith cannot really be trusted unless the faith has really been tested.  God will test us through so many circumstances, so many storms.  And He wants us to have joy in those circumstances.  It’s an intentional deal.

Ed Young: “Be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”  When you see a commercial, look at the unpictured side of the commercial.

Then one weekend I briefly attended a Newcomers Class, and happened to sit across from one of the ministers on the staff.  I had to leave early, so all we had a chance to do was exchange names.  The next time I was a church, that staff member not only recognized me, but remembered my name too.  I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.  I could go on and on, sharing how different people at the church have touched my life since then.  I truly believe God has put all these people and situations into my life.  At a time when I was in need of guidance, the Fellowship of Las Colinas was introduced to me.  Today, as I am baptized, I believe it symbolizes a willingness to shed the person I’ve always been and become a new person, whose life has a beginning and an end, with consequences to be paid if it isn’t led by Jesus.  This is my act of obedience, to show God that I want to live by His word.”

Ed: I baptize you, Kelly, my sister, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  God bless you, Kelly.

Song: “What Held You On the Cross”

Ed Young Jr. : When that person goes home and abuses his wife or maybe drives on our freeways drunk.  The unpictured reality.

Ed: I baptize you, Lisa, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  God bless you.  That’s great.

Testimony #9: In his own words, a six-year-old boy shares, “When I was four, we lived in Virginia Beach.  One Friday night my babysitter took my to church because Mommy and Daddy couldn’t go.  At church, we say a play with people dressed up as circus animals.  During the middle of the play, the circus mouse asked if anyone wanted to accept Jesus into their heart.  This means I went to the altar, and I said a special prayer to ask Jesus into my heart.  I am now a child of God, a new person, and will follow Jesus all of my life.  If Jesus died on the cross for us, and was baptized, then I should follow Him, and be baptized too.”

Testimony #10: A young career woman writes, “I was not raised in a Christian home.  Our family never went to church, and I can count on one hand the number of times I attended church with friends while growing up.  As a result, I’ve always been very intimidated by church and church people.  Last year my life felt as though there was something missing.  Everything looked fine from the outside, but inside I was searching for something.  My neighbor had a program guide from Fellowship of Las Colinas.  I looked through it and asked her if I could attend church with her the following weekend.  It felt as though each service was custom-designed for me, from the music to the drama, and finally, the sermon.  I began to believe that I belonged to the Fellowship of Las Colinas each week.

When that person maybe couldn’t stop with one and he decides to knock down about fourteen beers. – Ed Young Church

But after visiting the Fellowship of Las Colinas, I wanted to attend every Sunday and Wednesday.  I accepted Christ three years ago, and it wasn’t until recently that I discovered how wonderful God is.  He has provided and given me so much more than I deserve.  This past year he has brought several extraordinary Christian people into my life, that have really impacted me.  Being baptized is a public announcement of my faith in God.”

Ed: I baptize you my sister, Brooke, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  God bless you.

Testimony #7: The parent of an elementary girl says, “My daughter has been attending the Fellowship of Las Colinas for over a year.  She is learning the importance of prayer.  She looks forward to Wednesdays for Team Kid, and Sundays for Children’s Church.  She has made many new friends here and is becoming a stronger Christian every day through prayer and reading her Bible.”

Testimony #8: A wife says, “I had a wonderful feeling when I accepted Jesus Christ as a young teenager.  However, our church did not perform baptisms at this important time.  I have strayed away from God in many ways since then.  When my husband and I joined the Fellowship of Las Colinas four years ago, we both rededicated our lives to Christ.  Today, I’m striving in every way to have a closer walk with God.  I believe that God has presented opportunities for me in church leadership in the past years, and as a leader, I believe that it’s very important for me to publicly acknowledge my faith.  I also feel that to grow closer to God, and to follow the path he’s chosen for me, it’s important for me to complete this important step of baptism.  This is an exciting moment for me, one that I will always remember.

Fellowship Church Grapevine – That is what it says.  It is not showing you, though, the other side of alcohol that sometimes occurs.

We begin to get frustrated but decide we will try aisle four.  Aisle four is relationships.  Oh, boy.  Love is in the air.  Every sight and every sound.  So we begin to date and then we mate.  Then we have children.  It is great and fine and wonderful.  Yet, we are still empty.  We have all these relationships in our lives but there is still a crater in the cart.  And now and then during the Christmas season we will go to a service like this and we will push our cart dangerously close to baby Jesus.  We will look at baby Jesus but we don’t want to slow down too much because we will realize how empty we are.  We look and think about Him and now and then some of us will pick up the Christ child.  There is always room for a baby in the cart.  We put the Christ child in the cart.  We love having baby Jesus in the cart because He is harmless that way.  He is just a baby.  And we can push Him around and still have the white knuckle grip.  We can say, “Jesus you are so sweet, so kind, so nice.”  We don’t want Jesus to grow up because then we are going to have to come to terms with the sin in our lives.  We might have to realize some relationship is not right.  We might have to come clean in a certain area.  We will have to start telling the truth to others.

We are all dressed up in our Christmas Eve attire.  Everyone here looks great.  Most of us match, in fact.  If our wives dressed us, we do.  In a real sense, if we could see the real you, some of you are exhausted.  The rubber on your cart is burned off.  You still have that white knuckle grip on the cart of your life and life has knocked you down to one knee.  You are hammered.  You are stresses.  You are guild-ridden.  You are depressed.  You are empty.  You have gone through a marriage or two, a job or two, a house or two.  And you are wondering on the Christmas Eve if there is something else out there.  You are shopping for a Savior.

There is a third source of the killer fees, peers.  Peer pressure.  I like the word peer - Ed Young.

The second reason is, when I exhibit this kind of attitude, it makes an indelible impression on other people’s lives for the cause of Christ.  Let me stop here and have a pastoral word with those here who know Christ personally.  If you are a seeker, listen, but I am talking to Christians right now.  If you know Christ, you love Him.  And there are those moments maybe during worship, maybe during a bible study, maybe during a prayer session when you feel the power of God in a supernatural way and you think to yourself that you would love for your neighbor to experience God like that.  You would love for your relatives, this person or that person to experience that.  You want to share with them.  And some of you lie awake at night thinking how you can communicate Christ with others.  Jesus says, exhibit a supernatural, satisfying, second mile, non-revengeful type attitude.  That is what Jesus says.

You know when Jesus was being whipped before He was hung on the cross, He didn’t curse the people doing it.  When He was being tortured, when they were hammering and pounding the nails through His hands and His feet, He didn’t fight back.  He could have just winked at the heavenly hosts and they could have gotten Him out of it and made repayment for all of the trash those individuals were doing to our Savior.  But He didn’t do it.  You know what He said while He was hanging there suspended between heaven and earth?  Jesus said these words.  “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”  And then right before He died He said, “It is finished.”  The Bible says a hardened Roman, Clint Eastwood type, soldier, heard those words, saw this non-revengeful attitude and he hit the dirt and said, “Surely, this must be the Son of God.”  He didn’t read a theology book.  He didn’t go to a Bible conference.  He saw this attitude portrayed.  I ask you, who is your Roman soldier?  Who is checking you out?  Who is watching your attitude?  Who is watching your response?  “Is this person really going to do what he says, or is he going to be a hypocrite?   Will he show some other-worldly love?  Will he model what Christ said?”  Who is your Roman soldier?  You can mark someone for life when you exhibit this attitude.

Ed Young Jr.: The next time you see a commercial, commercials are fine, ads are fine but look at the unpictured reality.

In many marriages, both are working, come home, take care of their kids, go out to eat or cook a meal, help with the homework, go through all that.   Then many men make the grave error of sitting in front of the giant television and watching TV, channel-surfing for about two hours and then saying, “Okay, honey, let’s go upstairs and have another night of ho-hum sex”. Get the TV out of the bedroom and present yourself at your best for your spouse. So, if you have a constant diet of no without an excuse or without an appointment, men or women, your marriage could be suffering.  I would guarantee you there is sin in the marriage, specifically sexual sin, because your husband has rights over your body, and wives, you have rights over your husband’s body. It’s very, very important.  There are so many temptations.  We should so satisfy our mates sexually that we would be crazy to even contemplate or think about another party. Most psychologists say the underlying cause for divorce is the frequency issue. It sure is quiet. That’s the third ingredient. When you put these ingredients in the bowl and you begin to mix the recipe, I want you to take the bowl and put the bowl on an oven because once you’ve put it on an oven, which is The Foundation Of The Bible and Jesus Christ, He will turn the heat up and the physical dimension of your relationship will sizzle! It will sizzle! God wants it to sizzle. If it’s not sizzling, you put it in His hands. The control is with Him and you will see how to use this gift and how to give glory to God in every part of your body.

Fellowship Church Grapevine reminds us the payment book if you bought the car would be about as thick as a Bible, you know. Be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves

That brings us now to the H letter.  H stands for the word hear.  If I’m going to build a self-esteem, I’ve got to hear their messages.  James 1:19 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen.”  We’re quick to speak, but are we quick to listen?  That means to concentrate.  Quick to listen.  I’ve got hear people’s messages.  When they talk to me, I’ve got to take it in.

Don’t you hate it when you’re talking to someone and they’re always looking to improve their conversational lie?  Like in golf, you know, you have a bad lie and you say, “Well, that’s no good, I’ll kick it somewhere else.”  I talk to people sometimes: “Ed, how are you doing? . . . Oh, yeah, I enjoyed it.”  They’re off to someone else and you were right in the middle of a conversation.  Or, I call them the pounce people.  You’re talking, you’re explaining something, and you have a little break, a little silence, and they pounce in the middle of the conversation, “But did you know what happened to me?  I did this, I did that, and this is me and this is that.”  They won’t let you talk.  They’re destroying someone’s self-esteem.  Do you watch a person’s body language?  Are you really hearing them?  Are you really listening to them?

Teenagers were asked in a poll, what do they think about when they see their parents?  Over 90% said they see a giant Mick Jagger mouth.  Always, “You’re no good.  You need to do better.”  They said they wish they could see a giant Dumbo-size ear.  Parents, if you listen to your children when they’re young, it’s a self-esteem foundation, and when they’re old, they’ll still talk to you.  You listen. Become a good listener.  When someone messes up in the marketplace, people managers, listen to them.  Sit them down and say, where did it go wrong?  Did I explain myself?”  Go along those lines.  There are some times, though, when you have to terminate someone.  That happens.  For self-esteem purposes, if they’re in the wrong line of work, you’ve got say, “I think it would be better for you to do this.”  Hear.  Hear, and listen.

Ed Young Jr says “If I could only have that car.”  It is fine to drive the car but look at the unpictured reality.”